Hi, friends. I’m really excited to bring to you a little something different…what it is like to take my dog Teo for a walk, but from his point of view. It’s maybe the worst and most annoying thing you’ve ever read, or maybe it’s fun.
Hi hi hi hi hi omg I’m so excited to see you who are you I’m Teo I want to know you who are you who are ohhhh the pale girl is my favorite and OMG the man and the woman and the girl are here too omg omg I can’t even AND THE PALE GIRL HAS THE TRAP WE’RE GOING FOR A WALK YESSSSSS LET’S GO!!!!
That fresh air just feels so good and I love walking around showing all the neighbors how handsome I am. Do you smell that? I pee on this manhole every single day but for some reason it never smells like me so sorry please stop I’m gonna pee here. Whoa what’s that? It’s definitely animal poop but what flavor?! It’s not like the stuff that I and my friends usually leave around…smells…gr..grassier? And like it came from a much bigger ani-OMG THERE’S MORE HERE AND HERE AND HERE THAT ANIMAL POOPS A LOT.
This corner is my favorite. This is where the people bring the black bags that my people fill with yummy stuff. Have you seen the people? They always walk by the house at this time of day and pick up the big black bag that my people put in the street and they put the bags in a cart with other people’s bags and bring them all to this corner and I always bark at the people I bark at them so that they know I am watching. This corner is my favorite because the people bring all the bags here and then all my friends come around and poke at the bags and they’re so lucky that they get to eat out of them because my people don’t let me. Can you smell my friends? I’m going to pee here too so they know I was here.
LOOK THERE’S MY FRIEND OH no he’s not my friend he wants to fight why did he come at my like that let’s keep moving on but look at him he’s still standing back there maybe we should go try to be friends with him again maybe oh this is a good spot to pee. Loooooook there are more of my friends!!!! Let’s
no, let’s just keep walking these guys aren’t
why is this one always yelling at me when I pass?! He’s so mean but his neighbor is so nice let’s go talk to her she always compliments me and talks to me in the way that my pale person never doesssss. Byeeeee lady!
You gotta be careful out here, there are a lot of these skinny monsters that people ride and they will run over your tail if you’re not careful and the some of the girls wear tiny monster on their feet have you seen them? The monsters have never come after me but they are still TERRIFYING and oh have you seen the giant monsters that eat the people and roar all over town?!?! THEY’RE SO SCARY definitely the scariest monsters around I always stop and cower when they pass so they don’t try to stomp on me.
Ooooooh we’re almost back home but this is my other favorite stop because the people here always talk to me and comment on how big I am and how well I behave and are so impressed with how well I sit when the pale girl tells me to. The best part is that sometimes the pale girl buys bread or meat here and then gives me some human food is the best and I don’t understand why I can’t just eat it all the time we’re home we’re home I’m so excited to see my other people and THE PALE GIRL FINALLY UNCLIPPED THIS TRAP AND I MUST EXIT IMMEDIATELY hey it was nice to meet you but I’m going to go lay under where the pale girl lays now cause it’s sooooo coooool in there and I sleep so great there plus I get to be close to the pale girl BYEEEEEEE.